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9:06 p.m. | Dec. 02, 2010

the only time i take your ring off is in the shower and to do dishes. my hand feels naked now without it. i pretend that i am engaged, or married, even though my phantom boyfriend/husband doesn't even exist. even though i'm as single as i've ever been. not only have you left me, but so did he. well, technically, neither one of us "left" the other. in fact, neither one of us even told the other we were broken up. sound familiar? yeah, that was sarcasm.

i miss you every single day. i think about you every single day. and even though i know our story was never really meant to be, i can't help but wonder what my life would be like if...

but, in the grand scheme of things, i know i don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. and even though i wasn't perfect, i sort of deserved better than you just leaving me without one word of explanation.

that said, dreams of you still thicken my eyes at night. my heartbeat slows as if my blood has turned to syrup. always, with you, no matter if you're in front of me, or just in my thoughts, you stop the clock and it's like no time has passed. it's like it's suddenly seven years ago, and here we go again...

i miss you in my life.

love, me