what we're not
10:08 a.m. | Aug. 18, 2010

and still, at night, you creep into my thoughts like a burrowing tick. i don't know what to do with these feelings. i have nothing, so i'm just charging through them. it's only really bad when i'm alone.

and it's not just you. i rarely think of you during the day. i go about my business the way i normally would. just without you. and it hurts, but what good is whining, or crying, or even hurting about it going to do? nothing. because, in the end, you still left me again.

what happened to you loving me? to me being "the one"? to finally "knowing" what you want? to marriage? to those kids? why would you even say any of that to me if you were just going to do this again??! why??

i think i deserve some answers. and i'll go after them, after some time, knowing i won't be successful, because you'll just do what you always do, which is, completely ignore me.

why did i fall for it again?

because you are you, and, with some people, you just can't help but be swept up by them when they are there to be swept up by. i always felt we have movie love. i suppose the problem is that this isn't a movie.