this again
3:00 a.m. | Dec. 21, 2008

I felt whole again for a minute today. I realized, suddenly, while staring at the man I chose to love, that I felt right in my life. No longer like a stranger in my own skin. And it made me sad.

Of course, here I am at 3 am wishing you'd show up online, but knowing that even if you did, you probably wouldn't talk to me anyway.

Every time I become whole, my heart breaks all over again at night when I'm allowed to think of you.