unravel my past sighs
3:31 p.m. | Nov. 21, 2008

i'm addicted to you. there's absolutely nothing i can do. caught in your whirlwind i feel the words you say in every part of my body. my heart responds as if you've never even been away. and once again, i'm caught up in my own prison.

sometimes i wonder who the hell you think you are. waltzing in and out of my life like this. and yet, i wouldn't have it any other way because it means you can't successfully leave me behind. which, in the end, doesn't really matter, because we can't ever be together anyway.

at least i know my heart. and knowing mine means knowing yours. all this time i had to convince myself that you didn't feel the same. that you never thought of me. although, i always knew you did. i always knew that we were connected on this weird other level where we can never really be apart. not really.

how does this feel? breathtaking. otherworldly. all the things that i deemed untrue in you were completely wrong and i could shout to the heavens that you do love me too. you love me! oh, how my heart sings to know this! and yet it plummets back to the earth, to reality.

you're married. you do know that, right? i know it with every tiny crack of my heart. but just as fast as one crack happens, your words fill in the cracks like nothing was there to begin with.

you are a balm to me. you tell me that i'm yours and always will be. that we can't ever be apart, even though we always have been. you tell me that the love i believed in is true. it's true.

i could laugh and cry with the unfairness of it all.

i love you. all my dreams were true to you. you love me too! we dream dreams together.

shout it from the rooftops!!

he loves me too! oh, what to do?